Ode to Brussel Sprouts

Do you feel that brussels sprouts are a forgotten fave? Enjoy this poem about a humble sprout on their adventure to be eaten this festive season!

The humble sprout:

Boiled, blanched, baked or fried,
Sides like brussels and broccoli
Are woefully left aside.
Christmas is coming, but sadly,
we know what that means.
Poor healthy parsnip will sit limp,
As no one is keen.

‘Life as a vegetable is tough,’
Cries out a carrot who has
Not been loved enough.
‘It’s time for a change,’
He says defiantly, before throwing himself
Suicidally on the grange.
This act of defiance inspired,
A humble sprout to make sure,
He was used before he expired.

‘Human!’ he shouts up to a startled face,
‘My name is Brussel, and this year,
I refuse to be left to mould in disgrace.
I will be eaten for Christmas,
And not be ignored like my good friend Broccoli,
Who succumbed to your cruelness!’

Brussel points to a recipe book,
‘Look, Human, at this food Bible,
It will teach you how to cook!’
Human looks, and Brussel is right,
There lies a delicious recipe
Ready to make waistbands tight.

Human follows the instructions,
Chops the sprouts and begins
To fill two large cauldrons.
‘What are you doing?!’
Brussel cries out in pain,
‘The best method is to roast me,
Boiling allows nobody to gain.’

‘Preheat your oven to 220 Celsius,
And whilst you are waiting,
Toss me in oil, pepper and kosher saltiness,
Before putting me in for baking.
As I sit and happily bake,
Prepare a honey and balsamic glaze,
Which is easy as cake.’

‘Pour 1 cup of balsamic into a pan,
And let reduce until thick.
Then, take 2 tbsp of honey out of the can,
And with balsamic and some oil mix.
Take a peep into the oven,
To see if I have caramelised,
And once you see I’ve had that good lovin’
Take me out, and toss me about,
In the balsamic, honey and oil mix.’

Human sees, Human hears, Human eats,
And smacks his fat lips, even the
pigs in blankets this recipe beats.
‘But Brussel,’ he asks intrigued,
‘What if I want a meaty alternative?’
Brussel looks up, a tad fatigued,
How could Human not know?!
The wonderful addition of bacon,
This, to Brussel was a blow.

Brussel points to the bacon and boasts
‘Cut up 4 rashers, and with a handful of pre-
Boiled chestnuts, put me in to roast,
With a drizzle of oil and salt on my skin.
If you would like, add pepper to taste
Before letting us cook for 25 mins.
We’ll be so yummy, we shan’t go to waste!
Not this year, it shall not be the case!’

And so Human put down Brussel
In his most delicious forms
All Human’s guests did hustle
Around in huge swarms
To get a taste of the most delicious food.
At last, Brussel will not go to waste,
Instead Brussel and his friends will be chewed,
Because the recipes, Human did ace,
This one year, the humble Brussel sprout
has taken its rightful place.

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